35 Comments

I can relate to so much of this, except the hopeless ending. You're smart as fuck, write really well, and are a free man. As DW says, that's all you need to get set up elsewhere. I've done it, several times, in various places. I know dozens of people who've done it with less going for them than you have. Mind-forged manacles, my brother.

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Jul 5, 2022·edited Jul 5, 2022

Just go teach English in a foreign country. You can get started with no foreign language skills and just a college degree. Choose a place that's a balance of cosmopolitan and low cost of living - Prague, Taipei, Budapest, etc. - an English teacher there can sustain a middle class standard of living.

I lived overseas for about 10 years for various jobs. Never taught English myself but as an English-only expat naturally my social circles were filled with English teachers. There were a lot of (I say this with affection) slackers and people who otherwise dropped out of the rat race, because arbitraging Anglo-American cultural/economic hegemony gives you a huge amount of privilege that you can live comfortably on. You do get a pretty wide range of types of people but just the sheer experience of living overseas in convenient and walkable urban environments with great public transportation pretty much gives everyone a baseline level of cosmopolitanism and the conviction that American car-centric lifestyle and sprawl is just demonstrably inferior.

Another alternative is to work overseas as an in-house English editor/copywriter (NOT a translator) for a foreign corporation, which also pays a pretty livable middle-class wage. Typically in this type of role you would work with ESL corporate employees to help them craft their content so you don't strictly need foreign language skills. This is another job that's reasonably attainable if you can demonstrate writing skills (judging from this blog, shouldn't be a problem).

I spent my 20s abroad and live and work in the US now. Honestly I'm enough of a yuppie and sufficiently ambitious that my stint overseas began eventually sorted me into a very remunerative career path. While it's absolutely true that American "dynamism" is a real thing - it's why I get paid really well, foreign companies often seem years behind on operational best practices (in stuff like business technologies and process, not business fads), my workplace environment in the US is super motivated/fast-moving compared to sometimes sclerotic work cultures I saw abroad - I do massively miss the non-car-centric lifestyle and eclectic social circles I had while an expat. We would have been friends in Taipei or Budapest, here you would dismiss me as another tech bro with a Tesla =P.

Seriously though, look into it. The slackers and dropouts I knew abroad were all very content with their lives. In fact some of these places are cheap enough that you can go there with some savings and have a significant runway (depending on your savings) to just start looking for under the table work now and sort of your residency later. I wouldn't recommend it or anything but I do know people who have done this.

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Jul 11, 2022·edited Jul 11, 2022Author

Thank you to all who replied. I truly was not expecting such a response, and am a bit overwhelmed. I'm always amazed that these quick one-offs seem to get the most responses ( I don't like writing about myself BTW).

Perhaps I'm naive, but don't I need at least a job offer and/or a work visa? Making myself unemployed and homeless, moving somewhere on the other side of the world where I don't speak the language, am not a citizen, don't know a single soul, and without remunerative work, and expecting it all to somehow work itself out seems insane to me, if not downright suicidal. Getting a job is the hardest, most difficult, most agonizing thing in the world. Just the thought of it makes me want to fire up my grill indoors. If it hasn't been like that for you, well, I don't know what to say; you've been blessed in your life. Is teaching English really a viable career option? Keep in mind, once I walk away from architecture, there is no going back.

Plus, I don't think I have that sort of courage. I'm sorry, it just seems impossible. People here have a lot more faith in me than I think is justified. I don't know what to say that's not going to sound like an excuse. I guess I've got a lot of thinking to do.

A few other quick notes. If you don't know, I live in Milwaukee where Harley Davidsons are made, hence the motorcycle situation. The town is taken over by motorcycle gangs in the summer, and everyone wants to show off their hobby. Trust me, this is not your typical engine noise we're talking about; it's on a whole other level. Another reason I want to get out of here. And I'm flattered people think this site is a viable financial option. You must think I have a lot more readers than I do ;-)

If I could do anything in the world? I'd hike the Grand Italian Trail from start to finish. After that, the Via Francigena. After that, the Camino de Santiago. After that, either the Sultan's trail or the Transcaucasian trail or Te Araroa in New Zealand.

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Yeah man not to be mean but after writing all this and saying you can’t travel is a total copout. You are a writer on Substack, you can work anywhere as long as you can use WiFi (for only a minute or 2) to upload an essay. Also, traveling will give you a ton more material to write about. When I first got to İzmir, Turkey, I met a 75 year old retired American dude (he paid for his trip with his social security money) in a hostel I was staying at. We hung out a couple days before he went to an Eastern European country (because he had spent his 90 day Turkish visa up) that doesn't require a visa. Europe is expensive because of the Euro, but you can stay in said hostels for cheap. Some of the eastern European countries you don't have to pay in Euros. (I think Bulgaria is one and where my 75 year old friend went) I met young Europeans18-20 years old people in Morocco (had so much fun) and people my age 47 to 50+. You meet all kinds of cool people from everywhere in Europe, Australia etc. and if you don't like a certain place or the people you meet at a hostel, you just move to a new one. My advice is don't preplan your trip. Just write done some countries and places in those countries and meander. On the whim decide when to stay somewhere and when to move on. Like I said about meeting people, sometimes you meet someone you didn't know you shared anything with and you decide to take little adventures with them. You can stay in Europe just being an American citizen, for 90 days within a rolling 180 day span. You jump out of Europe (stop your visa count) and go to Morocco (1 US $ is 10 Moroccan Dirham) a country a US citizen doesn't need a visa at all. Turkey (1 US $ is 16.96 Liras) where I live now with my Turkish wife a I met in Izmir. You do need a visa but you can get it online in like 24-72 hours that lasts for 90 days. Before I met my wife I was planning on going east. Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos and all the island nations are cheap asssss crap. And do like Chris Ryan and get your teeth done in Thailand. Also I have never been to South America I am sure there are American friendly and very inexpensive countries down there. Also like Chris, who was just in Georgia, (very cheap) I met some young travelers that were there and loved it and said it was American friendly also. I am obviously not a good writer and I am all over the place with the timeline but I think you understand. Now get a notepad, write down some countries and buy a plane ticket, after looking for a ticket back to America for a couple month stay I couldn't find a flight until September that was $500, currently they are $1,000+ for July and August. This would give you time to get things together before you leave. Maybe you can set up an Airbnb at your American home and use that to help pay your bills and fund your trip. The longer you wait the older you get and the more chance you give your body time to break down. Fly on brother fly on...

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I finally emigrated (to Ireland) out of the armed madhouse and corporate slave camp called America. I'll never forget my first couple of days wandering around Dublin, and what stunned me most was how relaxed everyone was. At the beautiful Dublin park St. Stephen's Green I sat on a bench in near incomprehension at how *present* people were; just enjoying each other, the trees, the lake, kids playing, geese splashing, the intense green grasses and the sunshine. It was like a different planet. I felt like a prisoner suddenly freed after a 40-year sentence.

In America there is this sense of barely-concealed panic or hysteria everywhere; it radiates pervasive fear and anxiety. It's an entire society suffering complex PTSD; a continent-spanning nuthouse.

If it's the last thing you do, get yourself out. The US has become a kind of hell-on-Earth, it is demonic. What caused this bizarre state of affairs I don't know, but what I can tell you is things are not that way everywhere. Good luck!

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"Americans act like boors and louts" -- you can expand this part of an already amazing & excellent rant on the state of America. I am 64 & can hardly control my vigorous agreement! It has always been dystopian, but more so now than ever! Americans are never more boorish than when reciting what they have been taught by the cable news channel they favor (usually, Fox/OAN/Newsmax or MSNBC). These opposite "opinions" overlap more than you might think, ironically, and are always spouted unidirectionally, loudly, angrily and as if they are original, despite the wording being nearly EXACT in every instance.

For example, ask someone about high gas prices or Iran or the US versus the UN.

If they are on the "right" they will tell you "AOC is stupid" and "Biden is senile"

If they are on the left they will tell you that "Trump is a fascist" and "Renewables will save us"

Like parrots.

And despite the paucity of research or original thought, they will scream these bromides as truths.

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Jul 5, 2022·edited Jul 5, 2022

I live in Europe (France) and it seems that you are mostly stuck in your mind. I deeply resonate with your pain but if you are willing to shake your habits and take risks, I'm sure you can totally come to Europe. Sure, it might not work, but it would still be better than staying where you are. I don't know what your job is, but you can look for opportunities in Europe. As other people said, you can teach english, or you can just sell what you have, and come with your backpack and enough money to survive until you find something. I can't assure you that you will find a safe and well paid place, but I can assure you that you CAN escape.

As a side note, I want to say that european cities are also full of problems. I fled the city to live in the countryside with like minded people. But in Europe, in cities, you can certainly find way more "human" people than in the states. I wish you the best. Don't hesitate if you have questions about Europe.

And this is my blog (in french), you can contact me through it anytime if you have questions about Europe or France : http://lespagesdenomic.blogspot.com/

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maybe something here will assist you: https://www.youtube.com/user/frostedmucus/playlists

peace in your way

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As a foreigner who moved to the so called "land of freedom and democracy" when i was 18 yo after living under communism for all my life, I can totally agree and understand. Excellent article that touches upon many points and explains them adequately and succulently.

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We share most of the same sentiments. Come down south. Get a little land, grow a little food, play in the woods. You'll feel better. Just don't come to Kentucky. Too many people are starting to come here. That's why it's so good, you can get out in the middle of nowhere pretty easy.

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Some of us who feel similarly, rather than move to a different country, find others here who are living differently. See https://www.thefec.org/ for example. I lived in one of those communes for years in my 20s, and it totally put me on a better course in life. Good luck!

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What's a smart guy like me doin' on a planet like this?

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i agree with many of your complaints which also smack of over-generaliztion. i have heard about an "army'' of more than 2 million people -- mostly between 17-47 -- who don't work for money but for the necessities --food and shelter; who are living as harmoniously as possible in and with nature and fellow creatures. i left the usa when i was 65 (14 years ago) for mostly the same reasons that you discuss. it's easy to do...buy a ticket; go someplace you know someone (or not).

"meditations on shame and escape: mediate with shame; escape my friend, escape, and may the angels be your guides."

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I'm from Hawaii but have been living in Tokyo for 17 years. I won't go into a lot of detail, there are lots of YouTube videos and articles, but Japan is the antithesis of the US. I will give just one example: the US "health care" system is cruel, extractive, and a sham. Most of my conception of what the US has become relies on media. I learned long ago that "bait words" like "allegedly, should, seems, etc." are synomyms for "don't know". I often look at foreign media sites to see what's really important in the world, or to see what other countries think about the US. Hint: they really don't care.

I always contact friends still living in the US to confirm my fears, and they all agree. After Donaldae Trumpescu was elected, it was game over, the ultimate American orthodox "I con".

Thanks to C. Mulligan for his affirmation.

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"You can't base a society around competitive individualism—it simply doesn't work. Competition is not a social glue; it's a solvent, and we’re increasingly coming apart at the seams." Brilliantly put!

There is some great advice in this comment section. I have no advice to offer, except to echo that mindset?/fear?/introversion? might be at play. No judgement whatsoever, mind you (I'm too scared to put my contact info on the Tangentially Speaking FacilMap - ha!), but think about what you CAN do instead of what you can't. I'm sure there are a number of subscribers who would be willing to pay you for the high-quality work you put out and help enable you to live the dream!

The Tangentially Speaking/Civilized to Death/Chris Ryan circle is full of inspiration.

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Very eloquently put.

It's been a few years since we last spoke. Would you like to come on the show and share these observations?

—J,

YAA

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